On September 19, 2021, Twitter users had a field day imagining adult only flights.
A user named @heartbreak_Sade tweeted the following message, prompting fellow Twitter user Allyiah to re-tweet it and ask, “can we start a petition for an adult only airline?!”
The responses that ensued were hilarious, and people pointed out that since there are already cruises, resorts, and other settings off limits to children, there’s no reason why an adult only airline couldn’t take off in the near future.
Also, valid.
Dealing with a child screaming and crying on a flight is a rodeo most people have been to at least once. You board a plane on minimal sleep and figure you’ll be able to get some shut-eye. You adjust your seat to a comfortable angle, put on the sleep mask, and just as you’re on dreamland’s doorstep, there’s an ear-splitting cry that is loud enough to rouse the dead.
It’s jarring, but you figure this in-flight entertainment that nobody asked for will conclude shortly. You’re mistaken.
In seconds, the child goes from a Toni Braxton contralto all the way up to the high-pitched whistle that made Mariah Carey famous. And just your luck, that child is making sure to drag out that last note. You’re going to be in the air for about six hours or more, and there’s no telling how long the karaoke will continue.
What could be the cause of the crying? There are a few possibilities. The ear pain caused by changes in cabin pressure, especially during take off and landing, can be awful for adults, let alone children. Hunger, fatigue, illness, turbulence, and over stimulation are others.
Or, the child could simply dislike being packed in a capsule flying at about 38,000 feet, and would much rather be frolicking on the beach someplace. Can you blame them?
While you’re rolling your eyes, cursing under your breath, and turning up your earbuds as high as you can stand it, consider how frustrating it must be for the child who doesn’t have the means to communicate their wants and needs yet? And what about the parent or guardian, who is likely doing all they can to soothe the child with mixed results? They’re tearing their hair out right along with you.
Generally, a bit of kindness and compromise go a long way in these situations. There have been heart-warming stories of passengers offering to hold or entertain fussy little ones so their parent can have a break. In 2018, as reported by Travel Noire, a flight attendant on Philippine Airlines breastfed an infant when the mother ran out of formula.
But not everybody is interested in doing this, and if you really can’t deal with a child’s tantrum on board, an adult only airline could be the perfect solution. Or, if not an entire airline, then maybe a handful of flights.
Twitter reacts to adult-only flights
“This is a billion-dollar idea I think we would all be okay with someone stealing,” Twitter user @xgoldvn wrote.
To add further to this, @Yolandaaaa wrote, “I’m ready to fund it myself!” with a GIF of Patrick from SpongeBob SquarePants holding up a measly three dollars.
Some parents took offense, as though the proposed policy would be applicable to all airlines. But this wasn’t true, and Twitter users had clapbacks ready.
“I’m laughing at everyone upset with this tweet because I love kids and babies, but hearing them scream the whole flight makes me wanna rip my ears off. I love this idea!” tweeted Lil Ebbi Cakes.
TheMajor went in even more:
Other parents, all too familiar with the stress of child rearing, embraced the idea.
“I don’t even wanna be on a plane with my own kid chile,” tweeted RollingResha. “I refuse to go anywhere with my toddler cause I know hell is waiting,” wrote Aalaya, “my aunt says that’s what Benadryl is for.”
What do you think, Travel Noire readers? Could an airline designated for adults be in the cards, and would you give it your patronage?
