A woman asks if she’s wrong for taking a trip without her boyfriend because he left his passport at home. Let’s say it’s a great debate on Reddit, and users are torn with the relationship itself.

In the subreddit AmItheA**hole, a woman says she and her boyfriend are at odds after she went on a New Year’s trip they planned with friends for months without him.

The woman explains that she and her boyfriend have been together for three years and have lived together for the last six months. Her boyfriend, who she identifies as Paul, is known to forget things.

She has always picked up his slack for a while until one day, she got yelled at for having a hard copy of his important documents.

“One day […] he called me asking about his identity because he needed it for something, and they didn’t accept the digital version,” she explains. “I was at work and informed him I had with me.”

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She continues, “he gave me a huge scolding, saying that their documents should be at home, and told me to stop ‘holding’ his documents. I handed his documents over to him and said that I would no longer be responsible for this or warn him about it because I was doing a favor for someone I love who is a capable adult (27).”

She Meant Every Word

During the week of the trip, the couple decided to stay with friends to be closer to the airport since they live four hours away. When it was time to check for their documents, she had her passport, but Paul did not have his.

“He panicked, saying he thought I had taken even more passports as usual and left it at home,” she explains. “He decided to run home and come back. He asked me to go with him, but I didn’t want to spend 4 hours in the car.”

The woman went to the airport with her friends, and unfortunately, Paul did not make his flight.

“I turned off my cell phone and made my 12-hour trip. When I arrived, I got several messages from him saying that he couldn’t believe that I had gone on a trip without him and that I had done it as forms of revenge because of his scolding.”

She ends the subreddit with one last detail, “I always make a list for our trips of what to take, his passport was on the list, and he still forgot it.”

Not The A**hole

Many users are coming to the original poster’s (OP) defense, saying she’s not the A-hole (NTA).

“He wanted his documents back. You gave him his documents back. He forgot his documents,” one user stated.

“OP is absolutely NTA. BF is 100% TA. He sounds really tiresome. OP, you know if he joined you, he’d be giving you a hard time while on vacation. So just enjoy yourself while you’re away,” another user said.

“Weaponized incompetence,” Reddit user Agegamon says. “He 100% could do it, but he’s forcing OP to be responsible for him so he can be lazy instead.”

Other People Suspect A Big Problem


“Those of us with ADHD are just like the rest of you, except that our brains are weird assholes constantly trying to sabotage everything,” another person replied. “Once you know, you learn to work around it. Mostly. I don’t disagree that this guy could use a diagnosis, but he also needs a healthy dose of Taking Responsibility for My Own Actions. NTA.”

Other People Are Urging The OP To Notice The Red Flags

NTA. If you stay in the relationship, he will forget about the marriage license. Also, the baby’s birth certificate [and] your 25th-anniversary vacation papers,” one Reddit user stated.

“Yeah, don’t date men who scold you while expecting you to be mommy,” another commented.”


So, what are your thoughts? Is she wrong for leaving him?